Adam Pedley

This is more a thought provoking article as I am yet to learn the answer. I also thought it would be great to post this as it shows where I have come from and my own journey. Years from now I expect I will have grown considerably and will not even be able to comphrend this post in the way I do now. So it is my hope to leave a trail of where I have been so that when I acheive my goals and see results, others who want those results can easily follow my mental path. But on with the point..

There are many things in your life you should be doing. For example exercising several times a week, or not eating fast food. And while many of us take note of these we still continue to do something we know we shouldn’t or should.

I used to drink heaps of soft drink, and heaps of junk food, until suddenly I started feeling the effects. I started getting head spins, unexplained by CAT scans, and shoulder/bone aches after drinking many sugary soft drinks. Even after this I continued for a while until I needed to stop. I am proud to say it has been over 5 years since I have even touched soft drink and feel better for it. Then years later I stopped with the fast food as I was getting very overweight (I actually classified as obsese).

Now I am back down to a healthly weight but back to my point, why did it take me so long to do something. Why must I have waited until I was seeing physical signs that I knew where coming before I acted. Even scarier still, why do some people who see the signs still keep going?

If you were at your death bed and someone said would like an extra few years of life or all those memories of chocolate you ate, what you would say? If you chose chocolate memories please leave a comment and tell us why (as I am baffled). I expect most would say I would like the few extra years please.

So why not take that choice now, why wait until its too late and you are only looking back in regret?. I hope to find out soon and I will post my thoughts and hopefully an answer as soon as it comes to me, now that I have asked the question.

I still am yet to figure out as I still do a few things that I know are not completely healthy for me. While my habits have changed so that I am now not going to die when I’m 50, I still am aware they will take some years away. Maybe I am just hoping for something that will make it all better.

Maybe hope has something to do with it. Others may call it delusion.

I am sure many have come across one of these in their life time. I am not talking about where you may get angry or unexpectedly lose control, I am talking a complete break down where you possibly cry, lose all motivation, question everything and just sort of sit there wondering what is going on.

I am here to say these moments, while not pleasant to deal with at the time are actually great turning points. You have reached your limit with a certain way of life and are breaking through it. Something you have always done, no longer seems right and accepting that and changing normally involves some form of break (break apart, break through, break down). It usually occurs when you either burn out from doing something for so long and decide this no longer makes me happy, why am I still doing it, or learning something new that conflicts with a lot of existing beliefs.

Now during these times its great to reflect upon what has caused it and determine your plan of action for the future. It’s also a great time to just rest and do some things that make you happy, whether it be watch a movie, or gardening, or a walk (Exercise actually is great as it will help with your mood).

I don’t know how this affects you, but it normally takes me a few days to get moving positively again and a week or so before I am feeling 100% positive. But things do change for the better. It’s a great eye opening experience. You have questioned a belief or value and broken through it, a tough task to say the least.

I would love to know of others stories and what you have broken through.

Adding on to my last post about courage there is one particular area where if you have the courage to accept ridicule, regret and pain, for the good of those you love and improving yourself.

It’s the courage to admit when you are wrong.

We all base our decisions of how we rate the reliability of the source, information received and our instincts. But sometimes you gain more information that expands or conflicts with your existing information, its your responsibility to investigate further.

Most people will disregard information that conflicts with their previous knowledge. Our minds can not really cope with being wrong, we are truth finding machines. As proof, is there anything in your mind now that is wrong. Everything in your mind is correct, even if it’s I have this piece of information although I know its incorrect. Everything is a balanced equation. So when we want to accept something new, that is conflicting of something we know, its hard to accept. Why, I’m not sure. It’s easy to learn something new as it will not conflict with anything previous.

This becomes particularly hard to accept if it means you have to accept you did something wrong, especially to a loved one such as a child, such as my previous post when I left my first born to cry in a dark room at night when he was going to bed. But if you choose to accept it, admit you did something wrong, you have the ability to do the right thing in the future.

Staying with something you suspect may be wrong just so you don’t have to admit you did something wrong, doesn’t let you grow and only helps other people feel more comfortable staying where they are. To grow as a person and do good in the world, you must learn to accept you might be wrong some of the time. Having the courage to admit you are wrong and grow as a person is an admirable trait, even if others might not see it. (They just don’t want to accept they are wrong )

An attribute most people give to people who seem fearless and great. Well courage actually doesn’t mean you are fearless. It means you have fear, and act anyway. You have the courage to do something when you are scared to.

And courage can come in all sizes, while it’s unfortunate for most (including myself) that we don’t have enough. Small things such as public speaking or acting, just because you are afraid of what someone else thinks or skydiving or bungie jumping just because there is a small chance that something could go wrong.

Now fear was built into our biology for a reason. We don’t want to jump off a cliff with no parachute, or go and hug a wild polar bear, it keeps us safe. But a lot of fear today is from social pressure and ignorance. As one of my mentor’s brad sugars says, F.E.A.R stands for False Expectations Appearing Real. And that is usually what it is.

Now while all of this can seems insignificant, it has one MAJOR impact on our lives. It stops us going for what we want. Being afraid to do something that would make us happy because we think of all the things that could go wrong. Well why not think of all the things that could go right. And don’t let a stumbling block get you down, keep on going.

Lets take an example, if you read most stories of actors/actresses you will commonly see a similar story. They grew up with normal parents, went to high school, they were grounded, they worked at supermarkets or fast food restaurants all while they practised their talents. Then they make a big move. They go for it. They move state or country to hollywood, they live in poor conditions, they stuggle, taking any reasonable acting job they can find, guest appearances etc. They have the courage to continue, they pursue what they want and don’t give up. And eventually, they start getting bigger parts and more money. Then after a while at that they normally score, what many people refer to as their big break.

Just to highlight their path, a common misconception is that they are completely unknown and struggling and then they hit it really big. You will see in their paths they gradually get better roles as they progress.

So what did they do, they had courage and a goal and they went for it. So what is stopping you. Take the plunge, go for what you want. You know, no matter what situtation you always land on your feet as you are still here.

A great saying I was reaquainted with recently was, “It’s always darkest before the dawn”.

Have the courage to do something others fear, and you too will see the greatness of your passion and determination.